I didn't grow up with fitness in mind at all. My whole family was obese, and I was too. I played some sports, and I actually liked the competition. I was naturally talented in a few areas, but fell out of it because I felt like I couldn't keep up, and I didn't want to bring the team down.  I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety, and I used food as a coping mechanism without even realizing it, because I was so used to just eating everything around me. I was alone, and frankly, unaware of just how miserable I was.

Physically, I was always tired. Simple things like carrying a load of laundry up the stairs left me winded. Emotionally, I was always a mess. I would overthink everything and find myself spiraling into bouts of melancholy that left me isolated in my room for weeks. And mentally, I just didn't care.  To be honest, I had zero ambitions. I had resigned myself to just being overweight and uncomfortable, and I had figured depression was just something I'd have to battle my whole life. I'd like to say I tried to do things to get better, but besides therapy, I wasn't actively looking for some way to bring light into my life. I truly thought change was impossible, if I even bothered to think about it at all.

Finally, it all boiled over. My older brother went off to college, his first year away. When he came home for Christmas he had lost 50lbs. I was stunned. It wasn't just him losing the weight that blew my mind, it was simply the idea that change was even possible that kicked my mind into overdrive.

At first, I was hurt. He had gone and made this change that I never realized I wanted, and he had done it without me. But there was more to the hurt than that. I felt a strange sense of motivation that had been foreign to me for so long. The competitive side of me from when we were younger rose up, and I felt like anything my brother could do, I could do better. He took me with him to the gym and, well, I sucked. But for the first time, it was something that I could pour my effort into, and see it rewarded. Week after week I got more consistent, I got stronger, and I became enthralled with the process of it all. I watched YouTube videos, I studied articles and guides, and I learned how to lose weight. And after a year of tracking my food, working out consistently, and learning as much as I could to make those things better, I had lost close to 100lbs.

That was all 10 years ago. Since then, I'm happy to say that I'm winning my fight against depression, and my anxieties have all but vanished. I wake up and get to look forward to every day, because I know each day is full of opportunities, experiences, and just life that I would have totally missed out on had I not found myself in fitness. 

Today, I'm proud to say that I get to coach people. I had the lowest self esteem possible, and I know how awful that feels. I know how hard it can be to change, and I'm all too familiar with the pain of feeling stuck. I started coaching because if I can do it, then anyone can. I live for the moments when someone achieves a goal they were afraid to even set in the first place. Your goals are not some far-off impossibility, they're within your grasp, you just have to be brave enough to ask yourself, "Am I satisfied with what I have?" and have the courage to take action if the answer is "No".